Author: Jess.Burgbacher

Dr. Kelly Lambert has said that we are wired to use our hands in creative ways. As we pick up items to create in cooking, painting, gardening, drawing, etc. it releases chemicals that result in effort driven reward.

So, if we are wired to create. It’s no wonder I feel happiest when I’m using my hands to make something. Whether it’s sketching out a focal point for my kitchen that can house platters and cookbooks, or grabbing scrap wood to bring that vision to life, the process fills me with joy.

I find delight in drawing with my daughter, cooking meals for my family (even when their reactions vary), and learning to use watercolors. These creative outlets remind me that hands-on creation is what I’m truly meant for.

Stepping into the world of designing multi-site church buildings and tackling remote design has been intimidating. I often question whether others see the same value in this work as I do. Yet, if Dr. Kelly Lambert is right, the real value lies in the joy and fulfillment I derive from creating—not just for myself, but also for clients who cherish their environments.

Ultimately, it’s about crafting spaces that foster vision, mission, family time, and peace. And that’s what makes it all worthwhile.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous and strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13 NIV

There has been  an overwhelming theme of “walking courageously confident” around my life right now. For a while this theme came from influences online, devotionals, and people speaking into my life.

The theme has come in a very hard time of struggling with insecurities and questions of what I’m supposed to be doing in the season of my life.

In the lens of insecurity – or just honestly let’s call it what it has been – inward/selfish focus – This struggle made it seem that when I have lead confidently in a position or in a prompting, someone is left offended. Or what I have said or done is not what someone feels I should’ve said or done. It can feel like a decision or action is either too much or not enough.  All of these emotions most likely surface because instead of confidently walking in a decision, I’m wondering what people think of ME.

For a good hot minute I have been really distracted from being on guard by my flesh. Wondering who the true people are in my life to trust, to seek or counsel, trying to find those who believe I’m here for a purpose but also believe I need to grow and have the time and the love to pour to that into relationship.  Feeling a bit like the last lonely samurai, Inwardly focused.

Bringing me to a point where I was more consumed with how to NOT offend or cause ripples than even how God viewed me and purposed me. So I withdrawal. I stop making decisions. I got fueled by indifference.  Becoming consumed with human opinions rather than walking courageously with my creator.

I have really been struggling through this. I don’t think this struggle will be over anytime soon. But I know God is teaching me. I have to trust him. I NEED his word. I stand firm in the faith. Because he has asked me to be confident. It has nothing to do with my gifts, or my feeling of acceptance by anyone.  I know I have so much to learn about who I am in him and how my gifts fit into that.

Yesterday he spoke so loudly through my daughter. I was drained after spending the weekend without motivation. Using the excuse for caring for sick family to allow me to not do things around the house etc. Rae had a rough time going to sleep Sunday – she has been so attached to me – that I promised her cocoa and coffee devos the next morning if she gave up and went to sleep. She just needed to get rest. Didn’t work completely.  She was still up until 10. BUT the promise was made. Monday morning, we got comfy and she began to read: 

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. -1 Corinthians 16:13

She went on to read how a confident girl is blessed because she knows who she is in Christ and doesn’t spend much time worrying about what others think about her.

For her 7 year old devotion, it is what she needed in a new school with new friends. One whom recently called her weird…girls are so mean. For me, this was the Lord’s words to get my footing back where it needed to be. I hadn’t been on guard against the distractions and games of the enemy. I hadn’t been firm in my faith and letting the Lord’s words speak into me and my every day moments. I had shrunk back and not been courageous and strong.

When I make the space for Him to speak and not someone I don’t know or who doesn’t know me via an opinion of me, a shared IG stories or a sermon blip – he gives me what he has purposed for me. When I give him my time for his word – God breathed scriptures – to fill my heart and mind first. I can walk with strength and with HIS vision that doesn’t need approval of men. 

Now, I love social media, ha. There are really great inspirational things said via Instagram stories or in a devotional or a speaker quote from a teaching point. These uses of IG and sermon sound bites have purpose. I’m not saying that they don’t. God has given platforms and he will use them. But. I cannot live there. Those posts can reach people. Those sermon bites can possibly create curiosity for more of what someone is saying. But discipleship/transformation will happen ONLY secondary to being with the Lord. Furthermore, most of these posts are written from a perspective of what God has spoken into that person of that platform for a specific group – ESPECIALLY those sermon bits. These words that are being taught have most likely (hopefully) come out of a prayer closet for a congregation that a man or woman has been given responsibly for. So in the sermon/teaching’s entirety, there are things there for a specific group of people to learn and be discipled from. I don’t think that deep purposeful discipleship can happen in a 15 sec bite or reel. That is a rabbit trail in my mind that I don’t need to take you on for this blog…

When we are in this space of inward focus, those inspirational quotes, sound bites can become weapons in our war to be right. To have space. To validate our feelings and emotions.  To push for authority. Those words can stop being something we add to our daily time with God, and become our gods.  We have to guard AGAINST this inward focus. I have to guard against what comes out of hurt when I see something that strokes a hurt or validates my feelings and wanting to share that. When inwardly focused, we share them like pulling a trigger of bitterness or in a way of telling other how things should be done.

“This is what church should be”

“This is what a woman’s role is worth”

“A good parent does such and such”

THIS isn’t courage. It’s not strong. It’s building a case or standing on a soap box. I have done this. Honesty…It feels good to be validated of your emotions in a place – but what if we allowed more moments to go by to feel what emotions exactly come up when reading/watching some of these. Do we click to share faster than we pause and listen to what God could be pointing out. Something we may need to give to him to heal, rather than stoking a fire from embers that the enemy has keeping warm in our hearts?

I haven’t written in this blog in a very long time. There are notes on notes in my phone on topics that I have just written out to maybe one day be polished enough to encourage someone in this journey of life. Who knows if this is for someone today or just for me.

I do know that I have been called. I may not have all the grace of one person, all the biblical knowledge of the next, all the connections to the well written or well delivered, but I will share what God is teaching me. Courageously and firm in my faith.

-Jess

We live in a great town.  Just about 20 minutes away from places that tourists frequent.  About once a month we will have family day in one of these towns: Mt. Pleasant.  We pack up the kids and sometimes a lunch and head down the interstate and over the bridge to be tourists for a day. 

Our first favorite stop is Memorial Waterfront Park

We brought our soccer ball and warmed up in the sun running in the parks grassy areas and then walked down the pier to see if there were any lucky fisherman.  We are never disappointed with the nice people we meet and the fish tales they have to share!

This gentleman called the boys “lucky” because he caught 3 fish while we visited with him.  Although none to keep, it was still fun to see 2 puffer fish and one pin fish.

 

 

 

 

 

We happened to come to Memorial Waterfront Park on Veteran’s Day.  It was nice to see the Memorial Statue and talk to Ben and Sam about how to the thankful for our freedom and some of the sacrifice that it took to get it…and keep it.  They are very proud of their Uncle Kenny, who is home for his 2 weeks of R&R from Afghanistan.  They can’t wait to see him this Tuesday and ask him all their questions.

We used our Yelp app to find a yummy pizzeria: La Pizzeria.  Delish!! The waiter suggested a prosciutto sandwich to me and Jason ordered a meat lovers and white pizza with mozz cheese,  ricotta and spinach slice.  We got a cheese and pepperoni for the boys.  Just look and make your own visual opinion…but my taste buds will argue if you don’t think anything less than amazing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then of course it was off to Trader Joe’s so mommy could do some shopping and Daddy and the boys could find TJ the turtle and get some yummy lollipops from the treasure box.  One more favorite stop before heading home: Menchies Frozen Yogurt! We get some crazy concoctions by our kiddos…but they love it.

We ended this great day with a yummy roasted Turkey Breast from TJ’s, sweet potatoes and maple roasted brussel sprouts then a toasty fire and smore’s…yes, we outdid it in the diet category of our day…but it doesn’t happen often…and we enjoyed every second of it!

Jason and I have been gradually changing our eating habits.  We have done some researching and some documentary watching that has opened our eyes to the dangers of eating over processed and unnatural foods.  Not so much for us and our future…but more for our children’s health.  I love to cook and I love to eat.  This new look on life hasn’t dampened that love at all and I have enjoyed learning how to replace unhealthy ingredients with healthy ones.  So the fall baked goods (although still quite caloric) can still be made and the roasting of yummy responsibly raised meats still keep roasting.  But there is one thing that happens in the Fall…and it cannot be substituted for any health guru. Fair Food!  On a normal basis I stay away from fried things.  But last Tuesday, as the day went on and the cold set in and news of the fair, it’s up-in-one-night rides, attractions and vendors filtered through social media…I had a craving.  So Jason and I called in my amazing mom to watch the kids and we ran out to be a little unconscious to our new found healthy life.  It was chilly, perfect fair weather.  There was a consistent crowd.  Not too bad.  We had a plan…first: John the Greek!! Best Gyros around!! Seriously.

Then we had a debate…the classic once a year basket of fried mushrooms, which were $7!! or skip it and go straight to the funnel cake, my personal favorite.  We were in line for the mushrooms, after all it’s tradition, and a man came over to the line with this little parchment bag of sweet smelling fried dough.  We asked him about them…he raved of how wonderful they were and they happened to be cheaper than the mushrooms and you got more product.  So we ventured over to my new favorite fried dough vender…Yummy, hot out of the oil, mini donuts.  I’m salivating just thinking about them.  After we came out of the sugar coma, we stood by the kiddy rides with other patrons from all walks of life and watched an impromptu fireworks show.  I showed a little support for my Alma mater and paid $2 for a bottle of water to wash the grease down.Then because we hadn’t eaten enough we had to get a jumbo corn dog to end our indulgent night.  We enjoyed the night out…just the 2 of usespecially after a week of disney fun!  You have just one more night to get out and indulge as we did!! As for us….there is next year!

Just a few more pictures of some of our amateur Bento boxes (found a new site thanks to my lovely dear friend Amy).  We are in the process of re-assessing our eating habits and with that our grocery purchases. I have made a point of using everything that we have at the house now before my next trip to the store to aid us in getting rid of all the “stuff” that doesn’t meet up with our new lifestyle.  Saying all this to say, that my bento’s may be suffering just a bit 🙂

This has really turned out to be fun and the kids really enjoy it too, ha!  This week may be pretty boring, we will see how creative I can be while doing a pantry/fridge clean.

And while we are blogging about food, Jack had his first snack and wanted to make our new favorite dried fruit oatmeal cookies.  He is my little baker in the making.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are a bit more special now that I can spend one on one time with him.  He is one special guy!

and he was even willing to share with his brothers for their after-school snack!

This week has been a monumental one! Ben and Sam are now students in Kindergarten!!! Crazy to think that these two guys are already 5 (almost 6 in December) and ready for everyday school.  They have been attending Metro North Preschool for 3 years now and LOVE it!  Tania referred to this little school as a piece of hidden treasure.  The teachers and staff there are just the best, they are completely about your kids the second you arrive until the time you pick them up.  I’m having a hard time figuring out what we will do next year for first grade!! (lots of prayer for this one).  Here are some pictures from the first day!

Yes, our little stackers is in school too.  He had his first year experience with Metro last year and couldn’t wait to be a cuddly cub this year!

Getting to school and to our classrooms.  I am very much enjoying this last year of walking them in and getting them settled!

With K-5 brings lunches every day.  So I have tried to be somewhat creative.  I really wanted to dive into this bento box idea, but I am starting slow just to see how it goes.  Here are some pics of 2 of their lunches!

I haven’t been thinking enough to take pics of all their lunches this week.  It’s enough to get up, work out, get all ready, make breakfast and then juice Jason and my meal for the morning that looks a bit like this and lasting throughout the day looking quite similar, but more green.  It’s day 4 of our juice fast…not much to show there-but 4 lbs shed so far!

Great monumental week!! Only to get better.

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Yesterday we were privileged to take Jason’s grandmother out for a birthday lunch.  On Sunday, the 31st of July, she will turn 80 years old.  She is the epitome of class.  Her life is filled with great accomplishments and stories of love and romance.  She has been a nurse, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and now a great-grandmother.  Only last year did she loose her partner in life, Don Burgbacher, to a quick terminal cancer.  She is strong, but misses him so.  There is not ever a time that we don’t talk about him when we visit.  She takes me around her cottage showing me all the gorgeous pictures of she and him when they were younger.  They look as if something right out of a classic with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn.  Time with her is so special, you would think I would make more time to be over there.  And every time I leave I say I will try harder.  WHY is that?  Things come in and crowd out importance to easily. Priorities must be weighed every day!! I want my boys to remember all their family….memories for many decades.  Here is the gorgeous lady and 2 of her Birthday dates:

We are really enjoying school time.  Yes, at 5 and 3 my kids think school is one of the best things in the world…so when we get a chance to stay home for the day we pull out the scholastics.  Taking all the advantage out of their love for learning while we have it!  Jack soaks up the one on one time and is learning so fast.  We are trying to get Ben and Sam to sound out words and read a little. They start K5 in just 4 weeks! Crazy, I know.  They are so funny.  They CAN sound out most words, but try to take the easy way out by looking at pictures of what the characters are doing in the book.  Really funny!  Today we started our letter C week.  We come up with and sound out words that begin with that letter, do a letter C craft (today’s found here) and learn a Scripture that begins with the letter C.

Even through this little practice, God speaks volumes.  Not only does it helps me memorize the scriptures with them and teach scriptural life lessons throughout the week, but the scriptures are so timely it is unreal!  Recently in our church family, there have been so many hurting.  People going through so much.  My heart has been so heavy for each of them.  But then today, the letter C brought us this:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

He is so good.  All we must do is go to his throne.  I stand in the gap for those hurting, those weak and burdened today.  May they find rest in Him.  He is so sovereign.  Even through school time!