just in the last 2 days i have learned a couple things
#1 in having houseguest with small children in addition to our small children, the act of “picking up” is never finished. and the “adult conversation” is only possible between the hours of 8 pm and 11 pm-unless you have some kind of crazy energy flow that i have yet to find…last night my adult time ended at 9:30-i was wasted.
#2-i always felt bad for my late mother in law, tania. many times she would have a houseful of guests, working in the kitchen, grandchildren running a muck through her freshly cleaned house. having a smile on her face the entire time. then it would be “boat time”.
my father in law and his love for his boat would make the announcement that the boat was leaving in 2 minutes and all would race to get their children shoed and life-jacketed up. my mother in law, however, would offer to keep jack, or to “sit this one out”. i always felt bad. i thought, she has done so much and can’t even enjoy a day on the boat. she is choosing to be stuck in the house.
but until yesterday, as i chose to stay at the house while our guests, their children, my husband and sam and ben set off for the beach, i didn’t realize what she had gained by staying back all those times.
peace. quiet. aloneness.
it was amazing. little jack jack and i had some quality time, i got my house looking somewhat back to normal and i felt rest. i thought of her often throughout this peaceful moment in my day and wished i could sit on the couch with her and a cup of coffee. but i did learn to not take those times for granted and also, one of the last things she told me: to not feel like i have to be everywhere and do everything. to enjoy my children in this time.
just one of the MANY things i have learned from her.
Oak and Pines 
Jess….this was so wonderful to read. I remember watching Tania from a distance at times, and her ability to multitask with a smile on her face, while putting others first, always amazed me. One of the last times I saw her outside of church prior to her departure was at a local Chinese restaurant. We were nearly finished with our Sunday meal when she came in and sat alone. I was sure that second service was not over, so I just assumed she either had a speaking engagement somewhere in the afternoon or her hunger pangs kept her from fully attending the second service. Regardless, I was determined to let her have some peace and quiet and just enjoy her meal. Well…..for the next 25 minutes or so, there was a steady stream of people, stopping by her table to visit. She probably ate less than four bites of her meal during this entire time. On our way out the door, Phil asked me if I was going over the speak to her (the crowd had cleared and she was finally eating her food, which I was certain was cold by then). I told him that I just thought she needed some time……some time to enjoy her food and quietness, before the next shift of Faith folks descended on the Chinese buffet. She had an incredible ability to make everyone feel that they were the most important people in the world…..even if it meant eating cold Chinese food. Wow……..I didn’t mean to write all of that.
I love Tania’s wisdom!
oops…the previous comment was from me(amy) I am using Travis computer 🙂